I am not typically too hard on myself. So this is sorta tough. One recent thing that comes to mind was losing with that lady in dealing with some of Dad’s final matters. I know I shouldn’t have been as upset as I was about that one particular matter, but it was just the straw that broke the camel’s back in a long line of irritating interactions. However it was sort of a transformative experience. It was one of the first times I have really stood up for myself and let someone know how they made me feel. I should probably write something somewhere more private about how she made me feel.
I felt a lot of guilt for my reaction for quite a while as Dad asked me to treat her like family. I assume he asked the same thing, but based on how she acted, she either doesn’t treat her family very well, or she didn’t or wasn’t asked to honor the same request. Mom kept telling me to forgive myself for it, and I just felt so bad (because she said I hurt her; keep in mind I had been hurt, too). I told Mom that I just needed some sort of sign from him that he was ok with it. Her immediate response was he wouldn’t have allowed anyone else to treat me like that, so why should she get a pass? That was the sign I needed. I still occasionally feel some guilt, but it eases as time goes on, and I find more info that matches what my gut said.
I think it has made me see myself as more confident and not afraid of putting my foot down when I don’t like how people are treating me.